Hated Love
by Riku-Lover18
Summary: A love so strong, it could only happen over the weekend. Seventeenyearold Lana, is a suicidal teen with some major problems. But who would have thought, Riku could make them all better.


Hello everyone - ! I'm Lana, and I'll be your flight attendent for today. No, I'm kidding. But, don't judge me, this is the first one I've put on here in a long while. Just so you know, I came up with my own version of love and it's called a Rikana. A Riku and Lana love story. Lana is a girl I came up with. And if you want, in a few weeks from now, I'll have her picture on so go check it out. Hope you like it.

Sometimes when you think you hate someone, you might be mistaken.

I found that out the hard way.

About a year ago, we had a retreat at the school.

It was for couples, but I still wanted to go. At least I wouldn't have to stay home alone.

See, my brother Squall, is head of this entire trip. He came up with the idea.

The whole town loves my brother, so naturally they trust him with their kids.

My brother could take them to Las Vegas, and they would trust him. It's crazy, but cool, because they trust me too, but not as much.

If I came up with something like this, the parents would be kind of on edge unless my brother said he either approves, or else he's going to be their the entire time.

Which is fine with me, I wouldn't trust myself either.

My life has been a total wreck. I've been in an "Institute" twice because I tired to kill myself so many times. But, it wasn't bad, I got to skip school.

That was usually because they found me in the bathroom with a nail filer in my wrist. It didn't hurt as much as seeing my enemy's face when I was led out the door to the nurse, then to the hospital.

His name is Riku, and he's part of the problem. But, I guess seeing my parents get killed doesn't help. The blood everywhere and the bodies, lying limply on the floor, not moving, just staring into space.

I've been traumatized by horrible dreams since I was six years old. I blame myself for their death, but Squall says it's not my fault.

Of course it's my fault, if I hadn't been a stupid six-year-old and tell some guy on the Internet where I lived, they would be alive right now.

He came to the house and we didn't have a clue who it was, I didn't even know. They tried to protect me, but when they had Squall run off with me in his arms, they had died trying to protect us.

The man had come at them with what seemed to be a Bowie knife, and killed them both. I tore away from my brother and ran to help them, but…when I arrived…I found them lifeless and the killer gone.

I've never told my brother this, but…I already blame myself, and my brother is the only family I have left. My sisters were killed in a car accident. The other driver was drunk and they were coming to see me for my sixteenth birthday, when he ran a red light and collided with the side of the car.

My oldest sister lived long enough to wish me happy birthday before she died, but my other sister died on contact. I…I didn't even get to say good-bye.

Oh crap, I'm crying again. I only cry when I think of how many people I've killed. My all time record so far is five, but more will come and go and I'll finally join them from afar. They'll be kickin' it in Heaven, while I rot in Hell. They say, when you kill yourself, you go straight to Hell, but I'm hoping that's not true. I want to see my sisters again, and my brother-in-law.

He…he died in the car with my sisters…on contact as well. I still can't believe what happened. I don't know who to blame for all their deaths, the drunk, or myself. I blame myself more than the drunk.

If I hadn't wanted them to be there while I turned sixteen, they would be alive and be able to take me to dance clubs and buy me my first beer when I turned twenty-one. But, that will never happen, all because I had to be selfish and whine until they decided to cave and come over.

But seriously, who drinks at nine in the morning and goes driving right after. There will always be those idiots who take lives because they want to drink and drive.

They should make a law, where you have to give your keys to some policeman at the front door wherever you go if they have beer, and when you leave, you only get your keys once you've taken a breathalyzer test to be sure it's legal.

So many less people would die a year if that could be passed. Mothers would still be alive, and sisters, wives, fathers, kids who had futures, and everyone else whose died because of a drunk.

And if they bring a designated driver, they should have their hand stamped and the bartender has to check if they have the stamp before they can give someone beer. Like, DRIVER, or DON'T GIVE ME BEER, I'M DRIVING, stamps. That would work.

But, back to why you can hate someone but still be wrong.

My brother was going to make me go whether I wanted to or not, because he wanted to watch over me, and make sure I didn't try anything again.

When the day came, he told me as he looked at his chart, "You can't have your own room Lana."

"Why not! I don't have a boyfriend and you know it!" I yelled, beginning to get angry with my brother, for the first time.

"Because, the guy has to pay for this weekend and you're not a guy. You'll be sharing a room with your bus partner." He retorted, looking up from his chart and staring at me, "Your seat is L9, when you sit down, you'll see whom you're with."

I took the ticket from his hand and angrily got onto the bus.

Finding my seat, I almost fell apart.

Squall had signed me up with Riku, the person I hated the most in my life beside myself.

I sighed and said, "If I'm going to sit with you, I get the window." Throwing my stuff onto the rack above the seat, I waited for his reply.

Looking up at me, he smiled and replied, "That's fine, I don't like sitting on the inside anyway."

When I saw his smile, his beautiful sexy smile, I thought I was going to float away. Suddenly realizing what I was thinking, I shook my head and said, "Good, please let me by."

Riku stood up to let me by. Someone had been messing with the brakes and made the bus go forward a little, making me fall into Riku's strong muscular arms.

For a minute, we looked awkwardly at each other. Then when I heard my brother yell at the person up-front, I pushed away from him and got back into the aisle. Seeing as no one was in the seat in front of us, I got into that row and jumped the seat into mine.

Riku laughed slightly and sat back down as he shook his head.

"What are you laughing about Riku?" I asked angrily, getting my book and headphones out of my tiny backpack.

"Hey, that's not nice." He half-smiled, half-frowned, "And I wasn't laughing at you. Would you let it go?"

"Why should I? My status went from not only head of the class, but also from most popular girl in class, to the lowest person on the face of the planet." I replied, being slightly sarcastic, "Plus, you're half the reason I've been…" I stopped myself, I shouldn't say it. I know I shouldn't, but I want to.

Turning back to my part of the row, I pull out my favorite burned CD and place it in the CD Player, before I can turn in on and read my book, Riku stops me.

"What am I half the reason for?" Riku asked, trying to stare into my eyes when he asks.

I act like I didn't hear him and that my CD Player was going, but he doesn't believe me.

"Lana, I know your CD Player isn't on, tell me." He says again, trying to be as quiet as possible.

I sigh and look at him with glaring eyes, "You want to know why? Do you really want to know, because if you planned on getting to know me, or getting to know the girls that are going to get dumped this weekend, everything depends on me answering this? This could ruin everything you know?"

He nods and replies, "I really want to know Lana." Placing his hand over mine, he stares deep into my eyes, burning into me with his sapphire blue ones.

I quickly glance at my hand then look at him again, "Fine," I sigh, closing my eyes for a second, opening them I reply, "you're part of the reason I plan to kill myself this weekend. I didn't know you were going to be my room mate, otherwise I would have waited, but don't plan on coming home with me on the bus, because I'll be in a coffin, or at least at the hospital. But, if they take me to the hospital, tell them I don't want to be resuscitated."

He stares at me with cold, empty, lifeless eyes, and I can feel the tears falling from my eyes like bullets from a gun.

Pushing my way through him, I run out of the bus to find Squall.

I see him directing some people onto the right bus, and I wait for him to notice me kneeling on the ground, as I clutch my burning face.

Finally seeing me, he tells the last people where to go, and runs over to me.

Wrapping his arms around me he holds me close and asks, "Lana, what's wrong?"

"Cold, lifeless eyes, they're everywhere! Everyone I love is gone! I'm so alone!" I reply, not knowing what I'm saying as I sit entranced by the lifeless eyes floating through my head.

Stroking my hair and trying to calm me, he replies, "I'm here Lana. I'm with you. You're not alone, I'm still here for you. I'm not going anywhere."

I can feel myself fall from the trance as I pass out from the pain of everything. My parents and my siblings' death come back to me. I know I'm convulsing, but I can't do anything to stop.

We're on our way to the retreat, when I feel someone's hand take mine and try to wake me.

Finding myself in the front seat with my brother, I see Riku kneeling in front of me and I feel more tears come as I see him staring at me with eyes that say I-feel-sorry-for-you, completely scared for my life.

"Don't care for me. I'm nothing but a worthless piece of trash someone forgot to throw out." I whisper as I close my eyes and snuggle closer to Squall.

He's stroking my hair as he whispers back, "You're not worthless, and no one forgot to throw you out. You're just as important as anyone else, no one is any different."

"No, everyone is different Squall!" I whisper-yell, getting up on my elbow and looking at him as I slightly look at Riku, "I am different! No one else has gone through what I have! I killed my sisters, my brother-in-law, and my parents! No one has ever done that and been able to live! If it wasn't for you, I would have been dead on my birthday!"

I can feel myself burning up as I begin to cry hysterically.

"I kill everyone I love, and soon, not even Riku will b…" I stop myself, I can't believe I just said that. I can see Riku's face turn a dark shade of pink.

I also feel myself blush as well, then I clutch my chest, as if to say I'm having problems and I need to rest.

Laying my head on Squall's lap again, I begin to breathe heavily, but I'm fine.

"Let her rest." I could hear Squall tell Riku before I drifted off to sleep again.

When I finally awoke, it was nearly six a.m. and the other bus driver had taken the place of the first one.

Squall said we were headed to Twin Falls, Idaho for the retreat. That way none of the parents could really come to get them if they thought they were doing something bad.

Because, Squall told me this whole retreat was so the couples could spend time together without their parents breathing down their necks.

I felt kind of sorry for Riku. Just a little bit, not a lot, a little. I had more than likely totally ruined his weekend by telling him that, but he made me say it.

Deciding to give Riku the benefit of the doubt that he really was sorry for what he did, I get down on the floor with him. I don't have to worry about anyone seeing me because were on this really tiny bus they have for the bags, and it leads the way since Squall is in it.

Riku had been holding my hand since he fell asleep, and I didn't know what to do. Once I was next to him, I took his hand and wrapped his arm around my body.

Naturally, his other arm came up and wrapped around me as well because I sure didn't make it. I can't help but wrap my arms around him, but I also want to throw up for even getting on the floor with him.

I would get up, but he has a pretty tight grip. I get the feeling that he's really trying to protect me, but I don't think he knows it's me. He's probably done this with a bunch of girls, because he's really good at it.

As I think about that I begin to get mad. Now I really want to get up.

Luckily, the bus stops and we have arrived. Squall wakes up and sees us sleeping there. I fake it, but I think he knows. I act like I'm just waking up because the bus had stopped.

Acting as if I had just found out that I was in his arms, I pushed his arms off and whine, "Eww, get him off."

I get up and brush my arms off as he wakes up. I really don't like him, I just felt like indulging his more-than-likely, fake fantasy.

Laughing in my head as I think about that, I show a disgusted look on my face.

I wobble for a second, but Squall stops me from falling if I was going to in the first place.

Riku stands and stretches with a yawn. I hit him lightly in the stomach, stopping his yawn short, I say, "How dare you put your arms around me while I'm asleep."

At this point it's probably seven o'clock, and everyone should be waking up for the day.

Rubbing his stomach, Riku laughs then sighs, "I wish I would have been awake to see you let that happen."

I hit him again, this time in the arm, and finally put my headphones on.

Squall is already at the front desk getting the keys for everyone. Having already marked each room to each couple, he waits for that person to come up, state their name, and get their luggage.

Turning it up, I listen to my favorite Union Underground song. Riku looks at me with shock, I don't think he expected me to listen to heavy metal music, especially this loud.

I clip the CD Player to my back pocket and take out my book. Putting my bags on my shoulders, I walk up to the room with the key before Riku can figure out which room it is.

As I found my way to the room, I ran into my best-friend Madi. She had come here with her boyfriend Kenji.

I shake my head at her and she shrugs her shoulders. We laugh and I dig my DT-Cam out and motion for her to show me hers. Thankfully she has it.

As Kenji opens the door and heads in, I say, "You'll never guess who my brother made me room with!"

"Who? Was it that geeky kid from science lab?" She asked coming over slightly.

Before I can even answer, Riku comes out of the elevator and carries his bag like it's a bag of feathers. I tried lifting his bag and it weighed a ton.

I nodded my head slightly towards him so he couldn't see, but Madi figured it out.

"Oh, I feel sorry for you." Madi shook her head, waved good-bye, and headed into her room where Kenji waited.

"Thanks for waiting." Riku sighed sarcastically when he had finally figured out which floor it was on.

"You're welcome." I reply, the music on my headphones that now hung from my neck, still blaring.

Riku shakes his head at this, and follows me into the room.

I look around, and find out we only have one bed.

Riku again shakes his head again and sighs, "I'll take the couch." He turned and headed into the little living room.

I laughed and replied, "Who said you had to do that?" I threw myself on the bed and laid on my side with my head resting on my hand.

One of Riku's eyebrows went up and he smiled with his sexy smile again. "I thought you hated me?"

"I do," I said, stretching out so my arms spread from one side of the bed to the other as did my legs, "but no one said we'd do anything. Right?" I looked up at him with concerned eyes.

"Right. I had enough of that." He said, quieting when he said his last remark.

I was completely surprised, my theory was right, he had held other girls in his arms, now I feel dirty, and unclean.

With the look on my face the way it was, and the noise that had come from my mouth, I was convinced that he didn't care, "Get out." I pointed to the door.

"Lana, I was just…"

"Get out," I was still pointing at the door as I continued.

"No, I won't 'get out.'" Riku said, coming over and crawling on the bed.

I was completely surprised by the time he was finally on the bed. His knees were

in-between my legs, and his hands were placed right under my arms.

"Besides," he laughed as he tickled me, I couldn't help but go crazy with laughter because I had never been tickled in my life except by Squall, but that was only if I wouldn't do something for him. "I paid for this room, so I decide who leaves and who stays."

When he had stopped tickling me, we just stared at each other.

Leaning down close to my face, he whispered in my ear, "I want to be your friend Lana, I want everything to go back to normal."

"I guess we could try." I shrugged my shoulders as I made him smile.

Tapping my chest, I make him lay his head down. His body relaxes on mine, and it isn't awkward.

My arms are placed on his back, and I hold him tight. In return, Riku wrapped his arms around my body and hugged me to him.

I blow softly into his ear sending chills up his spine. "I might have a problem with being friends with you Riku." I said, making him lift his head to give me a sad look.

"Why?" He asks, not entirely sure why I had said what I did earlier if I didn't mean it.

I lean close to his ear and whisper, "Because I want you so badly. You don't know what I've thought about you."

His eyes widen with surprise as I feel the chills go up and down his spine.

He's so limp at the moment, that I don't even have to try to flip him on his back. I straddle his hips and hold his arms down with my hands.

Riku's staring at me, not even able to say anything. I giving him a sexy, yet evil looking smile.

He returns an equally sexy, evil look, and he takes my hand in his and kisses it.

Before we know it, we're kissing madly. Romantically, not hurriedly and sloppy, but madly.

As we kissed, his tongue searched hungrily for mine. The electric excitement of each passionate kiss was too much us.

Pulling apart, to catch our breath, we stare into each other's eyes.

Once I was breathing normally, I reached under Riku's shirt, and rubbed my hands up and down his muscular torso.

Riku sighed with joy, the feeling of friction between my hands and his body was amazing.

I finally pulled his shirt off and stared at his washboard abs, and his muscular pecs, they were any woman's dream.

Getting an idea I had had in a good dream, I leaned down, and began to kiss every part of his muscle driven torso.

He moaned with joy and pleasure. The feeling was unreal for him I imagined, but not that much.

I slowly moved my way down to his stomach. Finally reaching his bellybutton, I nibbled and sucked on the top of it, just enough for it to feel good, but not enough for it to hurt.

I ran my hands up his body again, and came back to his face.

Breathing heavily again, he stuttered, "You've done this before?"

Shaking my head I replied, "I've read a lot of romance novels."

He laughed and said, "Give me the names of the authors. I'm going to write them thank you cards."

I laughed and shook my head slightly, "Don't thank them, thank yourself. I never would have known what it looked like if I hadn't imagined me doing it to you in the first place." I said to make him smile.

It was a complete lie and I knew it, but I wasn't going to tell him to thank the poster of a shirtless guy getting out of a pool. That would be mean.

We kissed over and over again, and finally everything went farther than intended.

Waking up the next morning to find myself in Riku's arms, I sighed with joy. Snuggling closer to him, I made sure not to wake him, with too much of a jump.

I quietly, leaned forward and began to nibble on his nipple, trying to wake him up. I think he was awake, before, but he really was now.

Giving me a foxy smile he asked with a laugh, "Are you trying to give me a reason to jump your bones again?"

He ran his fingers softly up and down my lower back, and made me giggle lightly, "Maybe," I returned the look.

With my arms around his neck, I pulled him into a deep, tasteful kiss,

Which, as I thought it would. Turned into another hour of hot, ruff sex.

Again, breathing heavily after our last jump, I asked, "Do you…want to get a shower?" I smiled at him, and nodded to the huge shower and Jacuzzi.

"Wha?…Oh! Sure, lets go!" He said, getting pretty excited. Something new to try with someone you've been friends with since you were five-years-old.

I grabbed Riku's shirt and put it on. It went just to the middle of my thighs. If I bent over, Riku wouldn't be able to handle himself.

The door was the kind where you can see shapes, but it's hard to see everything. So I closed the door and stood in the light, in-front of the door and pulled off the shirt, while the water warmed.

Once he knew I was in the shower, he crept in and joined me.

When we had finished, I had just about enough sex for the weekend. Finally done, we actually got a shower, but we helped each other out, went one more time, then decided to cool it for a while. Once out of the shower, we laid down on the couch together, and decided to watch a movie.

It was about eleven o'clock and we decided to go downstairs to see what the couple activities were.

We arrived in the lobby and everyone stared at us, like they knew what we did.

I think it was just because I vowed I would never talk to him, and look what happened.

Plus, my hand was in his back-pocket just so I could squeeze his tight ass whenever I wanted to without anyone but us noticing.

My brother just smiled and said, "Well, now we're going to have lunch, so if you want to go into the hall, you can get some food into your system."

Everyone left, and Squall came over.

"So, I see you finally settled your differences?" Squall said, smiling as he bounced on the balls of his feet.

"Yes Squall, we settled our differences." I replied, giving Riku's ass a squeeze for the hell of it. He looked over and smiled at me.

"Hey, that reminds me, your birthday is tomorrow! We should celebrate before we leave." Squall said, looking at me with warning eyes.

I nodded slightly, and stared at the ground.

"Okay, well, I have to get in there and get some food before it's all gone." He said, heading to the hall.

Riku looked at me and kissed me softly on the lips. "How old?"

"Eighteen," I reply, letting out a deep breathe.

"Well, happy birthday." He whispered, knowing this isn't a good time for me.

"Oh hey! I left my sunglasses up in the room, I need them if we're going outside. I'll be back!" I yelled as I ran up to the room.

Running down the hallway, I can feel the tears falling from my face. This is always the worst time of the year for me. I've hated my birthday since then, and I always will.

I'm not just going to forgive my birthday like I forgave Riku. It doesn't work that way. If it did, I would have forgave it a long time ago, and gotten my sisters and my brother-in-law back. I really just called him my brother.

I dig through my duffel-bag and pull out my knife. Getting ready to cut myself again, I think about Riku and Squall.

Instead of trying to kill myself, I decide to write them a letter and run away.

_To whom it may concern:_

_I don't know what to write, so I'll just write what's on my mind._

_Slit my legs to make the pain go away, but it seems to stay. Then slit my arms 'til I can't feel the pain. Cry all day and night and take the knife to my throat and wrists, I want to but I can't. It's too hard, there's a guy out there I love and it will hurt so bad to have to put him through the pain, I hope it gets better, but it just keeps getting worse. Think about the people who care for me, should I stay for just one more day? I sit and stare at the knife on the floor; I hurt him more than I can bear. My heart is broken, and it can't be fixed. I want to say sorry but I know it's not enough. I want to say "I love you," but there's another thing I love more, I have scars inside and out. And there's more appearing as my life goes on. It should just end…the day I die is the day I'll be happy. Lets hope it comes soon. But 'til then, There's one thing in my life, one person that makes me happy, and I'm going on for two people, the only two people I love._

_Love,_

Lana 

_P.S. If you want to find me, go to the place, where four corners meet and follow the canyon north. When you come to a bridge, follow the route 66 signs to the little cabin where my sister's godmother lives._

Leaving the note for Riku to find, I grab some of my things and head out the door. I don't want to hurt them, but I find it easier for them to know I'm alive, instead of mourning for a piece of trash.

I grab my book, and head out the door.

Having enough frequent-flier-miles to go to Denise's house, I hop the earliest plane to California.

Author's POV

Back at the hotel, things get a little scary.

Riku waited for Lana while Squall ate.

"What's taking her so long to find sunglasses?" Riku asked, feeling his stomach growl.

Squall was in the middle of his delicious carrot cake, when he almost threw up.

Spitting the rest of the cake out, Riku gave him a funny look and asked, "Find out that it really is bad?"

Squall shook his head, and when he'd finally cleared his throat he stuttered, "Lana," and motioned cutting her wrists while he tried to drink something.

Getting the hint, Riku got up and ran up the stairs at full force, he made it to their room before the elevator would have, even if it was a straight shot from the lobby to their floor, Riku would have beat it.

Bursting through the door, he looked around the room for her, and found her knife stuck on a piece of paper, jammed to the table.

Taking the knife out of their new table, Riku took the letter and read it.

Before he had finished it, he could feel the tears coming from his once love filled eyes.

Squall arrived in the room just as Riku had finished the letter and fell to the couch.

"What, what is it!" Squall asked, as Riku handed him the letter.

Squall read it fast, and sat down in the nearest chair.

"I can't believe I never noticed that she had all those scars. I never thought to look on her legs. This isn't good, she'll find everything that reminds her of her sister Lea at her house, and then she'll really want to cut it short." Squall sighed, his face in his hands.

"Well, she obviously won't because she wants to live for us, but not for herself. The pain she knows we'd go through is unbearable. And she wants to save our lives as she said before. I have to go after her." Riku sighed, thinking about what he had read. He doesn't want to have to worry any more than he has to. "She wants us to come after her, but she wants us to give up on the way, so we can't reach her. But, I should be able to go straight there and not have any problems. Can you give me some money for a plane ticket and the address?"

Squall nodded and pulled out a wad of cash. He gave Riku a thousand dollars, then took the letter and scribbled the address on the back.

As soon as he had packed, Riku headed out, and went after his beloved Lana.

It was only a two to three hour trip from where they were, and Riku had no problem trying to find the house. Before he knew it, he stood at the front door ready to knock.

He rang the door bell and waited for a reply.

When someone opened the door, they were crying and carrying, what looked like a blood covered knife.

"Oh god! Am I too late!" Riku asked, beginning to worry that Lana had already taken her life.

"What, oh no, I didn't kill anyone." The woman laughed looking at the knife and his expression, " I was cutting onions and some meat. How can I help you though?"

Lana's POV

I heard a familiar voice at the door but ignored it. I was having such a great time with Barry, and their nephew .

It was a great thing that I was having real fun for once, and not worrying about what will happen.

When I arrived, they were just getting home from work. I had met her nephew previously before, but hadn't really gotten to know him. He's really cool and nice, I can't believe I thought he wasn't just because of his appearance when he looked at me and the sun.

I heard footsteps in the hall, I wasn't paying attention to the game of Twister, and we all sort of fell over because of me.

It was an awkward moment when I saw Riku appear at the door, and was laying on top of me from the fall.

He gave me a slightly jealous-angry look, and I asked if I could get up.

Getting off of me, took my hand and helped me up. I brushed myself off, and smiled at Riku.

I could tell from that moment on, that nothing was ever going to be the same.

Suddenly, Denise was standing beside me and she whispered, "Who is he and how does he know you?"

I turn and place my hands around her ear and reply, "He's technically my boyfriend, but I don't want to talk to him."

"Why not?"

"Because, he cares too much for a piece of trash, and that's not normal."

"No, you're not," Denise replies, giving me an angry look, "stop saying that."

I stare at the ground not knowing what to do next.

I look up and see Barry and talking to Riku as he smiles away.

"Honey look," Denise starts, "when you find someone who you truly love, don't let it slip through your fingers, grab it while it's still within your grasp."

"For the past twelve years, I've hated him so much. But now, I don't know what to do," I whine, lightly hitting my head, "I mean, we had such a great time last night, but…I'm beginning to wonder if he was only using me."

"If he's here right now, I don't think he's only using you. I think he really does love you. I remember when I met Barry, I thought he was going with every girl he saw because he wouldn't do anything with me, and I thought he was only using me too. But before long, he asked me to marry him and I accepted. We've never been closer than we are now." Denise told me.

"Riku could just be here because all of the girls at the retreat have boyfriends, and he's not getting any." I sighed, feeling the tears at the back of my eyes.

I didn't know what to think anymore, he either cared for me, or he was using me.

I shook my head and walked out the backdoor into the garden.

Standing in the garden, I walked around until I found my favorite bench between two Sakura trees. The pink petals were in bloom and they were flying everywhere in the soft wind.

Before I could do anything, I felt arms wrap around me. I began to panic. Breathing heavily, I was afraid for my life, until I felt a soft kiss on my neck.

I let out a sigh of relief and turned to see Riku.

I clutched my chest as Riku sat down next to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, still catching my breath.

"I wanted to see you. You left without saying anything. The least you could have done was told us you were going to come here. You almost gave your brother a heart-attack." Riku told me, still giving me a sad look.

"Well, I can tell you right now, a second ago, I thought I was going to have a

heart-attack too. Never ever wrap your arms around a girl in California when she doesn't know you're there." I gasped, still breathing hard.

"Sorry," he replied, "I just wanted to surprise you."

"Well, you did a good job." I laugh, finally catching my breath.

We stare at each other for a second, then I turn away.

"Riku?" I ask, twiddling my thumbs.

"Hm?"

"Are you using me," I feel the tears fall from my face, "or do you really love me?"

Riku smiles at me and wipes away some of my tears.

Shaking his head, he replied, "Lana, I would never use you like that. At least not after what happened before."

I laugh, the tears still falling, "You, had to bring that up."

"I know, I'm sorry. Hey, how about we go have dinner and then you can show me around?" he suggested.

"I guess I can do that." I reply, still staring at the ground.

He takes my face in his hands and wipes away the rest of my tears.

I smile weakly, and wrap my arms around him.

I felt myself melt at his touch. Riku's arms are so warm and embracing. Any woman could feel safe, even if he was an axe murderer.

As we walk back to the house, Riku picks me up in his arms, and we kiss over and over again.

I knew full well supper wasn't going to be ready for another hour, so I squirmed slightly, and made us fall over onto the grass.

We lay breathing next to each other before doing anything.

I roll over and lay on Riku's ripped body. One knee is up and the other is down, and he has his arms around me again. I can't help but melt into his arms, and lay there with him.

He rolls us over and stares into my eyes.

"You know? I never really noticed your eyes before, but there a beautiful sapphire blue. It's almost like a bright star in the midnight sky." Riku laughs, kissing me softly.

Before long, we were called in and had supper.

Riku had opted to get a hotel room, but Denise and Barry said otherwise.

Barry got very protective and said sternly, "You have to sleep in your own room."

Riku knew where he had to listen, even if he was going to brake that rule anyway.

When it was finally time for bed, we headed upstairs and I led him into my room.

After a quick romp in the sack, we lay next to each other and slowly fall asleep.

Weeks have gone by and my brother came to stay for awhile. He's still here now, but he has to leave for home in a day or so.

Once we knew everyone was in bed, Riku came into my room, and laid in bed with me. We had our nightly go, and sat together in silence as we cuddled afterwards.

I sighed and looked at him, "Riku, I can't do this anymore."

"What, the sex three times a day? Cause we can cool it down to two." He replied, suggesting that we still do it in the morning at and night, just forget lunch.

"No, that's not it, I love that we have an active sex life, but I can't handle being with you." I reply, not knowing how to word it.

Riku gets up, puts on a pair of pajama pants, and walks to the window.

Now he won't even talk to me.

I sigh and get up, putting on his shirt, I walk over to him.

Wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing his back, I continue, "It's not that I don't love you, it's just that…"

He cuts me off and pushes me away. "You know what Lana, I can't handle this either. I change my life, live out here with you, and leave my family and friends back home. But every time we get any closer to becoming like a real couple, you decide you can't do it." Riku says, turning towards the door, "I'm getting sick of being a little puppy, that you can just abandon and adopt when ever you want to. I won't stand for it. We're over, and don't try to do anything to get it back. It's gone forever."

The tears come flooding to my face, and I run out of the room.

Instead of running into someone's room so I can talk it over, I run to the bathroom and pull out my knife.

I cry for a second before I decide to cut my wrists.

Just as I slit my first wrist, I cry out quietly in pain, and I suddenly see Riku at the door.

He has tears in his eyes and he falls to his knees next to me. As he dug for something to wrap around my wrists, I cut my other one.

Finally finding something, he begins to turn back around.

Before he can turn to see me, I turn the knife to my throat.

Just as I try to slit it, he takes my hand and stops me. Not wanting me to go any farther.

The knife falls from my hands and he wraps my wrists, even though I fight for him not to.

Seeing as they were on, I didn't take them off. I stare at him angrily, I never wanted him to fall from my reach, just figure out if he wanted to live the rest of his life with me.

He takes my arms and kisses me deeply. He pulled away, but left his forehead against mine.

Our eyes are closed as we sit there.

Suddenly, as I cry hysterically into his hand, he whispers, "I can't do it Lana. I can't let you walk out of life. I take back everything, you can get it back, and you don't even have to try, I'll give it to you, just don't try to kill yourself over me. Everyone in this house's lives will be living Hell, and if I have to, I'll come after you."

I wrap my arms around his neck and cry on his shoulder, "I don't want to die Riku. Don't let me die this way. I want to see my sisters and my parents and my brother again. Please, don't let me die on you."

"I will never let that happen Lana, don't worry, you're not going to die." Riku replied, reassuringly stroking my hair.

I kiss him over and over again as we continue to sit on the floor.

Before I know it, I had passed out on his lap, and nothing could be done about it. I could see the light, and the flame. I forced my way to the light, but it pulled me back, I fell to the flame, but I stopped just before I reached it.

Inches from the flame, I could hear Riku, Squall and Denise's voices.

Suddenly, I'm back in the real world and I'm in the hospital.

My body had been put into a wrap as I healed from a horrible fall.

I looked around the room and see everyone that I love standing there.

My parents are there, and my sisters and brothers. Sadly, Riku wasn't there. None of it had happened. The entire thing had been a nightmare slash dream.

I sat up and looked around.

Looking at Squall I asked, "Where's Riku?"

"Who? Oh, you mean your so called enemy? He's at school where he should be. And besides, why would you even care?" He told me, giving me a strange look.

I held my hand to my head and checked if it was on straight.

It had all been a dream and nothing had happened. I never tried to kill myself so many times, and I never really did anything with Riku.

In the back of my head, I really hoped that he felt that way in real life, but I wasn't sure.

As soon as I was out of the hospital, I got to go back to school and homework.

Everything was normal. I wasn't dreaming any more, and I hadn't talked to Riku yet.

My birthday was two days away, and I waited for the day to be over so it would be one step closer.

When the bell finally rang, I got all my stuff together and began to head for the door.

Before I could leave, Riku stopped me.

Everyone had left the room, and we were there all alone. Pulling out a package from his bag, he blushed deeply, and said, "I…I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, and to say that…that I'm still sorry for what I…"

I stopped him from talking and smiled at him, "I know, I should have forgiven you the first time. Lets, just forget about it. Okay?"

He smiled and handed me the package.

I opened it, and found a beautiful Sapphire ring. It had to have cost a fortune!

"Oh Riku! You shouldn't have!" I gasped as I stared at the ring.

"I thought you'd like it, it matches your eyes." He replied, stroking my face softly with his hand.

I smiled lovingly and asked, "Will you put it on my finger?"

"Of course."

Slipping the ring onto my finger, it fit perfectly. I could feel tears fall from my face again.

"Oh crap, I'm crying." I say to myself, trying to wipe them away.

Riku just smiles and slowly wipes them with his thumb.

We stare at each other and before he can do anything, I grab his scarf and pull him into a deep kiss.

As our lips part, he looks completely shocked.

Not knowing what came over me, I blushed as red as a beet.

Looking down at he ground, I didn't know what he was going to do.

He just gave me a crooked smile, and pulled my face up.

We kissed again and again, just like in the weird dream. If that's what you call it.

Knowing that we had totally missed our bus, We bundled up and Riku walked me home with his arms around me the whole way.

Just remember this, no matter how much you hate someone, deep down, you know you really love them, but you don't want to admit it.

Your life could be changed just like mine, even the strangest things, like a dream, or a movie, can change your life and theirs forever.

I hope you all liked it, please send some good reviews, or bad, if I really need it. I hope it doesn't suck too bad.


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